


Please Save Me from What Was

by AnimeYaoiFangirl100



Category: Captain America (Movies), Marvel (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies), X-Men (Movies), X-Men - All Media Types
Genre: Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Emotional Manipulation, Emotional/Psychological Abuse, Gen, Mutant Powers, Mutants, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, PTSD, Pain, Post-Captain America: The Winter Soldier, Post-X-Men: Days of Future Past, Psychological Trauma, Psychologists & Psychiatrists, Sadness, Torture
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-09-26
Updated: 2014-09-26
Packaged: 2018-02-17 15:45:46
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,591
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2314901
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AnimeYaoiFangirl100/pseuds/AnimeYaoiFangirl100
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The simple fact of the matter was that Bucky Barnes was a broken individual in every possible way. Steve wanted to change that, to help him; to save his friend. But another simple fact of the matter was that he just didn't know how.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Please Save Me from What Was

_Is this a test?_  
  
That was something that Steven Rogers had always found himself wondering, even about the smallest, simplest of things. It was something that he had always asked, even when he was still a little kid getting beat up on the streets of Brooklyn. It was a habit through and through, and something that wasn't going to change just because fighting off his own tormentors had been changed to fighting off those of others'.  
  
Like now, for instance. Just because he was working on everything that he had missed in the past 70 years didn't mean that he wasn't a man out of time. Of course he wasn't the only one; at least, not since they had found Bucky.  
  
That was two months ago and Steve was still asking himself that one little question; _is this a test?_ Things had been going smooth enough. The Avengers weren't together all the time, but he made sure to see Natasha and Sam(even if he wasn't an Avenger, Steve counted him as such), and of course he saw Tony as he was currently staying in his tower(which also meant that he saw Bruce a lot by default). With the help of his friends - and the internet, which happened to be very helpful - he had managed to get through most of the hardships that were in the 21st century.  
  
"Captain Rogers, Mr. Stark would appreciate it if you met him in the lower levels. It's of extreme importance and he requests that you make haste."  
  
The sudden appearance of the voice in the ceiling - Jarvis he had to remind himself - startled him and he barely caught the mug filled to the brim of coffee that he was carrying, but not without spilling a little bit. The blonde frowned down at the dark patch that was starting to move in between the crevices of the floor, and he itched to grab a cloth and clean it up. And he went to do just that when Jarvis spoke up once more.  
  
"Mr. Stark was quite insistent that you hurry. The coffee that you spilled will be taken care of."  
  
Before he could get a word in edgewise to the machine - which he thought about doing even though it was rather stupid of him to argue with something that wasn't living - he heard footsteps and turned to see Pepper Potts, CEO of Stark Industries. Despite being crucial to his business, the fiery-haired woman also seemed to see something in her boss that nobody else in the tower saw. Except for maybe Bruce, that was, who seemed to spend a lot of time with Tony. Pepper gave Steve a gentle smile, much like she had been doing since they - as in Steve himself and Bucky - had moved into the tower.  
  
"Please, Steve, just go see Tony. I'll clean this mess up. You don't want to keep the man waiting when he wants something." She rolled her eyes up before taking the cloth from him. "But I'm sure that you've already learned that."  
  
Giving a simple nod, Steve turned around to make his way towards the elevator that led down to the lower levels. Given the choice, the super soldier would have rather taken the stairs, but Tony had something against stairs leading down to the lower levels of the building; where he kept his suits and where he worked on some of his more dangerous, “genius” inventions. The man thought it was a bad idea, that someone was going to take advantage of an easier way to the basement.  
  
Without the steady movement that accompanied going down flights of stairs, Steve was left to his thoughts. At the moment he wasn’t sure where he wanted his thoughts to take him, but, no matter what he wanted, his thoughts never did as they were bid. Sometimes he would find himself slipping back in time, back to the good old days when he wasn’t a hero; back when his best friend was just his best friend. Most times when he thought of the past, however, he was caught up in hunting Hydra.  
  
Blood, sweat and tears often accompanied these thoughts. As did the sounds of canons and gunshots; a lot of times people that were no longer among the living also became a part of his subconscious. For the longest time Bucky had been one of these people, but he wasn’t any longer. And, for that, Captain Steven Rogers would forever be grateful.  
  
“About time you showed up, Capsicle. I was starting to think I might need to go up and get you myself.”  
  
“I’m afraid that Jarvis only informed me that you needed me once, so I thought I could take my time. And I am also willing to assume that he did it in a more polite manner.”  
  
“Stupid machine.” The dark haired male muttered, glancing up at the ceiling. Jarvis, for all his good sense, seemed to ignore the insult(what good did it even do to insult something that didn’t feel emotion? That was another thing that Steve wondered a lot when around Tony).  
  
“What did you want, Stark? I was in the middle of something and I can’t always come when you call me.”  
  
“Ah, yes, spilling my coffee is very important. Also very expensive. Seriously, Steve, if you need to spill something please do so in a manner that might not bankrupt my company.”  
  
“I came down here because I thought you wanted something that I had to offer, not for you to insult me. Either tell me what you called me down here for, or else I’m leaving.”  
  
“You’re leaving me? And here I thought we had something special.” Steve was just turning around to head back to the elevator when he felt something on his shoulder. Turning his head, he looked back at Tony. The other man had a serious expression on his face, and that was never something that Steve liked to see. A serious Tony Stark always spelled trouble. “Look, okay, maybe right now those comments were out of line. I did call you down here for a reason. Come with me.”  
  
Following him to one of the doors on the other side of the room, Steve thought of all the possibilities there were. Then his heart sank when he realized that it most likely had something to do with Bucky. After all, the Soldier had been staying in the lower levels(they all said it was easier to handle him, which ate at him). There was a hall through the door that led into another room, flanked by glass on one side that enabled those within to look into a separate room.  
  
Within that room was a figure in black, curled up against the far wall. With his heart sinking even more, Captain America realized that it was his best friend. It took some effort to tear his attention from him to Stark, but he managed in order to hear what was being said.  
  
“Bruce helped me design this room, just in case he ever thought that he was going to lose control. So we figured that it was the perfect place to place Barnes was here. That is, when he lost his mind. That way, if he slips back into his old ways, there might not be any casualties.”  
  
“There wouldn’t be any casualties anyway.” Steve said, looking at Tony seriously. Though they both knew he wasn’t being completely honest. “Bucky is back; the Winter Soldier is gone. He wouldn’t have hurt anyone.” Though, when he looked into Tony’s eyes, he could see empathy and compassion - two things that were not often found in Mr. Tony Stark.  
  
“Steve, look, what you say is true. The person in that room - in that corner - is Bucky Barnes, but that doesn’t change the fact that he is also the Winter Soldier. That will always be a part of his life, even if he doesn’t play it any longer. And, in his frame of mind, he might not even be Bucky Barnes. Do we even know _what_ Hydra did to him? He went through a lot of shit, Cap, and there is no way this is going to be smooth sailing. This is going to be a very bumpy ride for all involved. You know it, I know it, even Jarvis knows it.” His eyes grew serious again. “You say that he’s the same man that you knew, but he’s not. The simple fact of that matter is that he’s broken; that’s the easiest way to explain his mental state right now.”  
  
“You don’t seem very surprised at this turn of events.”  
  
“That’s because I’m not.” When he received a look, Tony rolled his eyes. Of course he couldn’t stop acting like a child, even when a serious matter has some up. “What? You can’t honestly expect this to be the first time that he’s done this.”  
  
“You mean he’s done this before?” Steve questioned, taken aback and turning his head to look at his friend once more.  
  
“Of course he has. That’s why he’s in that room right now; I’ve learned to read the signs for when he was going to start acting out.”  
  
“No, I don’t think you understand me clearly enough. You mean, _he’s done this before and you didn’t tell me_? How many times has he done this?”  
  
“This would be his third fit. And no offense, but you’ve had enough to worry about, so we figured that we wouldn’t mention it. And before you ask, I mean “we” as in Bruce, myself and Jarvis. Though I ordered him not to tell you, so I’m not sure if that really counts.”  
  
“What are you going to do about this?” Steve questioned, still watching the figure in the corner like his life depended on it. And it might as well have, because he didn’t know what he would do if he had to go through the process of losing Bucky a second time.  
  
“I’m flattered that you think I know all the answers, but I don’t.” Tony said, looking at the blonde as he watched the man in the room. They were both men out of time in dire need of help, but he certainly wasn’t the one to give it to either of them. Hell, he couldn’t even help himself half the time. “If it was a problem with his bionic arm, I could fix that within the hour. This takes more of a gentle touch that I don’t have. I don’t do brain problems, capiche?”  
  
“So you can’t help him?” Steve questioned quietly, watching as Bucky’s arms dropped to his sides and he just stared at them without truly seeing them(if that was even possible with the glass there).  
  
The Captain turned his head to the side once more, taking a good look at his comrade. He wanted to count Tony as a friend, but he wasn’t sure if he could- not with the way the other man acted at the best of times. But if there was ever a time where he needed a friend, it was at that point; when his best friend was there, yet incapable of giving him solace. After looking at the billionaire for a few moments he turned back to look at his old friend.  
  
“Not personally, but I might know someone.” Tony said, placing a hand on his teammates shoulder for a moment and giving it a squeeze before walking past him, to the door. “I’ll see what I can do. Come up when you’re ready, and, do us all a favor, and don’t open that door. Might not be the best idea.”  
  
And then he was gone, leaving both Steve and Bucky alone with their thoughts. One of them was thinking of better times, and the other was busy thinking on how he might be better off dead.  
  
 **~*~*~**  
  
A steady rhythm of flesh against wood woke him. He wasn’t fuzzy from sleep, rather wide awake as if wondering if there was something wrong. Until he realized that it was late afternoon(he had finally gotten back to the mansion in the early hours of the morning, an hour or two before dawn) and he could hear no sounds of panic. So he let himself relax and fall back into his bed.  
  
At least, that’s what he had started to do when the persistent knocking at his door started up again. This time a little more impatiently. So, with a groan loud enough for the other to hear, he threw off what covers were draped over him and made to pull on a pair of jeans that had been discarded on the floor. Then he stalked over to the door, throwing it open, found himself staring at Kurt. In his turn, the blue fellow did look apologetic, but not apologetic enough for Logan’s taste.  
  
“This better be good, Elf.”  
  
“Sorry to interrupt, but you are wanted in zuh study.”  
  
“By who?” Because that depended on how fast he needed to get there. If it was Scott or Jean wanting him he would be there in a heartbeat, but if it was Remy- Well, it wouldn’t be much of a problem if he just didn’t show up.  
  
“Zuh Professor.” And, with that being said, he popped out of existence. At least down the hall, but it was still rather annoying at that point in the day(his mind kept screaming that it was too early).  
  
 _Charles wants to see me, eh? Well, better not keep him waiting._ Over the years Logan had gotten close to a lot of the people in his new home, but Charles Xavier happened to be one of his closest friends; next to Rogue, that was. Not to mention all the help the man had given him, which, the more he thought about, he couldn’t think of a single way to repay him other than doing what he asked with little-to-no argument. Displeasure not included.  
  
Grabbing a white t-shirt from his closet and pulling it over his head, he made his way out the door. There wasn’t even a reason for him to check his image before leaving the room- he always had a rugged look, no matter if he tried to tame it(he never did) or not. He then proceeded to make his way towards the study, a room where Charles spent a good majority of his time in.  
  
“Come in.” A soft voice slipped through the door right as he tightened a fist to knock. Giving a little nod to himself and pursing his lips a little, Logan opened the door and walked in.  
  
“How many times do I have to tell you that I hate it when you do that before you actually quit?”  
  
“Oh, if you’re wanting me to stop, you will be waiting quite a while. I find it to be one of the many highlights of my day.”  
  
“What did you need to see me about, Chuck?” Logan asked, working to suppress a smile.  
  
“I am aware that you just got back, but how do you feel about New York?” Charles asked, looking at Logan with the calm expression that he always had.  
  
“… I feel like it’s Hell during tourist season. Was that all you needed? Because I was expecting more.”  
  
“Logan,” The bald man started, a smile still on his face. “I only ask because I have received a call from a Mr. Tony Stark, asking for you, on the behalf of a Steven Rogers.”

**Author's Note:**

> Hello! Upon watching Captain America: The Winter Soldier, I realized that I wanted to write a fic. And I also wanted an X-Men fic, so I decided to write a cross-over between the two. Thanks to my friend, katebelate, for being my beta and giving me helpful tips!


End file.
